Bird flu, shmird flu – it’s fear that’ll kill

first_imgWell, because when we are scared we are more easily led, and because fear is big business. What is the answer to the bird flu? Buying stuff that will protect you from the bird flu. Stuff like antibacterial dishwashing liquid and germ-killing floor wax. Conversely, we are not being told too much about the negative affects of tobacco or booze or Twinkies, because then we might stop buying them. And if that happened, then the CEOs of these companies could not retire with $200 million pensions, and they would not be able to buy sumptuous condos in places like Cancun. (Next door to a lovely killer bee couple.) So be afraid, because the bird flu is coming. And when it fails to materialize, there will be something even scarier behind it. Like the poodle plague or the chipmunk cooties, and then we will all be doomed! Phil Perrier is a comedian and humor writer in Los Angeles. Write to him by e-mail at [email protected] local news?Sign up for the Localist and stay informed Something went wrong. Please try again.subscribeCongratulations! You’re all set! AD Quality Auto 360p 720p 1080p Top articles1/5READ MORE11 theater productions to see in Southern California this week, Dec. 27-Jan. 2And they were Africanized! Good God, man, do you know what that means!? But they never quite got here. Maybe they stopped in Cancun and bought time shares. Perhaps they mellowed with age and transformed from killer bees to mildly cranky bees. But it doesn’t matter. By the time the killer bees dropped off the radar, something else had come along to replace them, like the comet Kahoutec or the metric system. Oh, yes, how quickly we forget. For years we were being warned of the arrival of the evil metric system. We were all going to have to learn it, while at the same time, like robots, we would have to delete from our brains any memory of words like “feet,” “inches” or “tons.” The same system of weights and measures used by foreigners and Commies was coming, swarming its way up from Mexico, only a few miles behind the killer bees. There was no place to hide. But it never quite got here either. In fact, the only Americans who adopted the metric system were cocaine dealers. Because, apparently, nobody could afford a gallon of cocaine. So why do they do it? Why do the media and the government and corporate America keep bathing us in fear? And why aren’t they a little more vocal about the stuff that really is killing us, like cigarettes and alcohol and gluttonizing on fatty foods? The easiest people to control are people who are scared. This fact is taught in “Tyrant 101.” Just ask Hitler or Saddam Hussein. On a more subtle level, it is why the Powers that Be in this country keep jarring us with scares like the bird flu. The cover of every major news magazine has splashed us with the dreaded bird flu. The network news and the president have warned us of the imminent arrival of the avian flu and its potential for mayhem of biblical proportions. Do not let the fact that not a single person in America has died from the bird flu fool you, we are doomed. Remember the Asian flu? The swine flu? They were going to liquidate the planet also but they never quite got around to it. When was the last time you were attacked by “Africanized killer bees?” Been a while? During the 1970s, the killer bees were the bird flu du jour. Time and Newsweek told us they were coming; Walter Cronkite and Barbara Walters told us not to trust any bee, even if they swore they were not killer bees. The damned things were swarming their way north through Mexico, it was just a matter of time. last_img read more


first_imgFailte Ireland’s Sinead Hennessy pictured with Ciarán ó hAnnracháin from Letterkenny IT and Mark Moriarty, EuroToques/Fáilte Ireland Young Chef of the Year 2013 and top young chef in the world after his win in Milan’s San Pellegrino Young Chef competition 2015 in Ard Bia. Photo : Reg GordonChef in training at Letterkenny Institute of Technology, Adrian McCarthy, was selected by Fáilte Ireland to attend Food on the Edge – a two day symposium for chefs & food enthusiasts – which takes place this week in Galway City.Adrian is currently studying Culinary Arts and is one of eight students selected from the Institute of Technologies around the country to attend Food on the Edge and hear how some of Ireland’s top chefs view the ‘Future of Food’.The lucky students also got to take part in an intimate workshop with Mark Moriarty, San Pelligrino’s World’s Best Young Chef 2015 in Ard Bia Restaurant, Galway.Organised by Fáilte Ireland Food Champion and Galway native, JP McMahon, The Food on the Edge symposium aims to challenge our perspective on food and our connection to it. Attendees will hear from approximately 40 speakers on the topic ‘Future of Food’ at the event, each of them chosen for their innovation, passion and influence on today’s food culture. As part of the initiative, and on the fringe of the event, Fáilte Ireland organised an intimate workshop with Mark Moriarty, one of the up and coming culinary figures of the Irish food sector. During the workshop Mark shared his culinary story, discussed his future plans and offered advice to the group of trainee chefs.Mark Moriarty – San Pellegrino’s World’s Best Chef 2015 commented:“I was delighted to work with Fáilte Ireland on this workshop and meet with some of the future chefs of Ireland. As a young chef myself, I was be able to offer some advice on how to maximise the opportunities each college course presents. Perhaps some may realise their own ability to achieve on a national and international level and become part of the next generation, pushing the boundaries of Irish food”Food is integral to the overall tourism experience. A significant proportion of a visitors time on holiday will be spent experiencing food in some way – either consuming it in local dining or hospitality establishments, visiting specialist shops and markets or having a hand on learning experience in a cookery school. As a consequence the experience the visitors have of food will play a pivotal part in determining their satisfaction with their overall holiday. Of total spend by visitors; approximately 35% is spent on food and drink which equates to close to €2bn per annum. John Mulcahy, Fáilte Ireland’s Head of Food Tourism and Skills Development commented:“Ireland is having a food movement, the current levels of activity relating to food, and the interest around local and traditional food practices and traditions, shows that there is much happening and much to be proud of. It is imperative that Irelands new wave of inspired chefs are included as part of this important movement.“We are delighted to provide Ireland’s next generation of chefs and food innovators the chance to listen, talk and engage with key influencers from around the world. Indeed, Mark Moriarty as San Pellegrino’s World’s Best Young Chef 2015 is a prime example of the heights that can be achieved as young chef in Ireland. Never before has there been a more exciting time to become a culinary professional – and the routes to training are widely available.”DONEGAL STUDENT CHEF IS COOKING WITH THE BIG BOYS! was last modified: October 20th, 2015 by StephenShare this:Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to share on Skype (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window) Tags:chefdonegalLYITlast_img read more